The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket (Book Review)

The Ersatz Elevator

A Series of Unfortunate Events #6

by Lemony Snicket

259 pages

fiction/young adult

HarperCollins, 2001

Read in 2 days

My Rating: ★★★★★

Amazon.com | BN.com

"The book you are holding in your two hands right now--assuming that you are, in fact, holding this book, and that you have only two hands--is one of two books in the world that will show you the difference between the word "nervous" and the word "anxious."

Review: In every book there are vocabulary words defined, friends made, new enemies discovered, and above all, there's a series of unfortunate events to avoid. Count Olaf is at it again, working tirelessly to entrap the Baudelaire children in such a way that he will end up with their life in his hands. We all know what will happen to them if this should ever happen. They will be killed and he will have come up with some way to own their vast fortune.

I won't bore you with the background of who the orphans are. You should know that by now. Nor will I bore you with who Count Olaf is. What I will bore you with is the unfortunate event that takes place in this book. The title says it all actually. That is, if you know what "ersatz" means. I must admit I initially thought it was some made up word just for the book. I was surprised when it not only turned out to be a word found in the English dictionary, but I checked myself just to be sure I wasn't falling victim to some fiction fantasy. I won't tell you what it means. Look it up why don't ya? Or better yet, read this book and find out the answer.

I will make one small pet peeve I've come across with these books as I'm reading them. The series and stories make the books bigger and bigger in page count. I appreciate that. Like the Harry Potter series only not as many pages. What I don't like is that no matter the page count, each book is thirteen chapters long. This means that in this book each chapter was an average of 20 pages each. I'm sure most people don't notice things like that but I do. I prefer books where the chapters aren't so long. I'm a bit OCD with books and I rather put a book down remembering what chapter I'm on rather than the page number. With this series I've more often than not had to remember the page number. Otherwise, no story or character complaints whatsoever. I shall keep reading them till I reach The End.

Summary: In their most daring misadventure, the Baudelaire orphans are adopted by very, very rich people, whose penthouse apartment is located mysteriously close to the place where all their misfortune began. Even though their new home in the city is fancy, and the children are clever and charming, I′m sorry to say that still, the unlucky orphans will encounter more disaster and woe. In fact, in this sixth book in A Series of Unfortunate Events, the children will experience a darkened staircase, a red herring, an auction, parsley soda, some friends in a dire situation, a secret passageway, and pinstripe suits.

Both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted, A Series of Unfortunate Events offers an exquisitely dark comedy in the tradition of Edward Gorey and Roald Dahl. Lemon Snicket′s uproariously unhappy books continue to win readers, despite all his warning.

The woeful saga of the Baudelaire orphans continues as evil Count Olaf discovers their whereabouts at Esmâe Squalor's seventy-one bedroom penthouse and concocts a new plan for stealing their family fortune.

To learn more about Lemony Snicket, visit his site here.

The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket (Book Review)

The Austere Academy
A Series of Unfortunate Events #5

by Lemony Snicket

221 pages

HarperCollins, 2000

young adult

Read in 2 days

My Rating: ★★★★★

Amazon.com | BN.com

"If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn't give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway."

Review: I swear these books are getting better and better as I read them. In this series of unfortunate events we find the Baudelaire children being placed in a boarding school by Mr. Poe, the constantly coughing man who works at the bank and is in charge of their finances until they come of age. Of course they are wary of Count Olaf and what disguise, if any, he or his equally evil friends will be wearing this time.

While at the school mishaps happen to them even before Count Olaf, or in this case Genghis, as he calls himself, gets there. They have to contend with a mean, nasty, and unkempt classmate by the name of Carmelita Spats who likes to call orphans of any kind 'cakesniffers,' whatever that means. They also have a vice principal who likes to mimic in a mean voice whatever he is being told and he also thinks of himself as a genius violin player. Trust me when I tell you he is definitely not a genius at anything. In this book the children are at the mercy of technology when Nero, the VP, claims they have nothing to worry about from Count Olaf since his fancy computer security system, which has been programmed with all of Count Olaf's discerning features, have been programmed into the computer. Of course there is a hint of skepticism on the part of the Baudelaire kids who find it hard to believe that a computer will keep Count Olaf or his evil friends away. Of course, they are correct.

But in this book they meet the Quagmire triplets (minus one) who befriend them and who offer to help them. Of course the Baudelaire children are ecstatic to have two new friends, and I feel a hint of romance in the air as well, but they are also cautious of anyone who takes their side. If you've read the previous books as I have you'll recall that many of their guardians and even friends have met with a deadly fate at the hands of Count Olaf. This time will be no different.

I'm propelled forward into the 6th book, The Ersatz Elevator and one step closer to the last book, more aptly titled "The End." I can't wait to find out more about these children and how through the toughest and darkest of times they always seem to escape near death, at least, until the next book that is...

Summary: As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home Prufrock Preparatory School : they can′t help but notice the enormous stone arch bearing the school′s motto Memento Mori or "Remember you will die." This is not a cheerful greeting and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning to a very bleak story just as we have come to expect from Lemony Snickett′s Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously morbid set of books that began with The Bad Beginning and only got worse.

As their outrageous misfortune continues, the Baudelaire orphans are shipped off to a miserable boarding school, where they befriend the two Quagmire triplets and find that they have been followed by the dreaded Count Olaf.

If you want to learn more about Lemony Snicket, visit his site here.

The Miserable Mill by Lemony Snicket (Book Review)

The Miserable Mill
A Series of Unfortunate Events #4

by Lemony Snicket

194 pages

HarperCollins, 2000

young adult

Read in 2 days

My Rating: ★★★★★
Amazon.com / BN.com

Sometime during your life--in fact, very soon--you may find yourself reading a book, and you may notice that a book's first sentence can often tell you what sort of story your book contains...But this book begins with the sentence "The Baudelaire orphans looked out the grimy window of the train and gazed at the gloomy blackness of the Finite Forest, wondering if their lives would ever get any better."

Review: FINALLY the series is starting to pick up speed and interest me. For a second there I thought I was gonna have to stop reading it altogether since the last book but this one made up for it big time.

The orphans are put in a sticky situation yet again only this time they don't discover Count Olaf's dastardly plot to gain their fortune until the very end of the book. I think that helped the story move along faster that way. Of the four I've read so far, this book had some of the better characters outside of the siblings. "The Boss" for instance, who no one knows how to pronounce his name, and his partner, who doesn't exactly seem very much like a partner but like more of a servant, portray stupidity and compassion together. Then there is Phil, the VERY optimistic mill worker who manages to see the bright side of things even after his leg is smashed.

As usual this book does have a very tragic death that befalls a guilty party but does not make it any less final. I must say for a book that gradually grows from being for a child to young adult, even someone my age and my moms age (who is also reading the series) Mr. Snicket is quite ingenious. I look forward to The Austere Academy next.

Summary: I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

Accidents, evil plots, and general misfortune abound when, in their continuing search for a home, the Beaudelaire orphans are sent to live and work in a sinister lumber mill.

To learn more about Lemony Snicket visit his site here.

The Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket (Book Review)

The Reptile Room
A Series of Unfortunate Events #2
by Lemony Snicket

190 pages
HarperCollins, 1999
gothic fiction/absurdist fiction/steampunk/mystery
Read in 2 days

My Rating: ★★★

Amazon.com / BN.com

“The stretch of the road that leads out of the city, past Hazy Harbor and into the town of Tedia, is perhaps the most unpleasant in the world.”

Review: Another 13 chapters down in another easy to read yet highly enjoyable book. The poor Baudelaire children are in for more unfortunate events this time. I seem to think Count Olaf will be making appearances in every book until he (hopefully) meets his own untimely demise. It only seems fair after all the people he’s managed to do away with with no remorse.


I’m a bit surprised that this series would be considered for children considering it’s pretty dark and deadly subject matter but it could be a useful tool in explaining to children the evils of this world in a way they can understand. The author does not hold back in the unfortunate events that happen to these three kind-hearted children. Like I’ve said in my review of the first book, this is definitely a series that needs to be read out loud in order to truly enjoy it.

I recommend this series to people of all ages. You’re never too old to read a classic.

Synopsis: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky.

In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odour.

In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.

To learn more about Lemony Snicket, please visit his site.