The Book Signing that Wasn't...

I don't normally write up reviews about a book signing. In fact, I usually don't mention the book signings I attend except a tweet or two. And trust me when I say I gave The Strand book store the benefit of the doubt from the moment I got there till the moment I walked out but it must be said, this was the WORST book signing I've EVER attended and I've gone to 50+ events at least. But let me take you through my experience step-by-step.

Let's start with the simple fact that every book signing I've been to up until last night was at various Barnes & Nobles throughout the New York City area. With that thought in my mind I figured maybe I've been pampered by the way B&N run their book signings? I kept saying that to myself over and over again as the evening wore on. But I digress...

I discovered James Franco would have a book signing at The Strand book store through an email sent to me by the store themselves. Now, I am NOT a fan of James Franco. I don't know his work beyond the two episodes I recently saw him in of the Mindy Project. The ONLY reason I stopped to read up about this book signing is because he is a role model for my brother. I did some quick reading up on the event where there were two key points the "initial" (I put that word in quotes because The Strand was VERY quick to change what they put on their site) description of the event said:

1. James Franco would personalize the books.
2. This would be a ticketed event.

For those of you who probably have never done a book signing before and you're wondering whether or not it's worth it? Those two points, I would consider, great indicators that the event would not only be worth it but would go as smoothly as possible and quickly as possible. I say quickly because when an author agrees to personalize their book it can add a few extra seconds with each fan waiting to get theirs signed and usually there is a limited amount of time to do it in. Most authors, especially those who are exclusive to fiction writing know their fans are the reason they are as popular as they are so they want to get to everyone who's in line. But none of what I expected to happen actually happened.

When I arrived with my brother there was no real indicator (sign) of where to go. I had to go inside The Strand and ask the security guard there for what to do. I don't blame her for not knowing but at least she found an employee for me who directed me to a line outside and around the corner. The line was not that long, we got there at 7:15pm for an event that was scheduled from 8pm-9pm.

It wasn't until 7:40pm that an employee with a clipboard and another with wristbands came to us and checked that we had indeed pre-ordered the books. We were handed two wristbands and a sheet of paper that stated:

I draw your attention to the 3rd point on this piece of paper. "Due to time constraints, ticketed guests will receive a pre-signed copy of Actors Anonymous as they exit the event."

SAY WHAT?!?!

Let me get this straight, you KNEW how many people would be at this event because you had a headcount of how many would be here right? Then you scheduled this event for 8pm (probably because you had to adhere to HIS schedule and not the other way around) meaning you knew he could only be there for but so much time right? Wouldn't this signal to you that maybe you should only have allowed 100 tickets to be available? I'm not sure how many were crammed into that little "warehouse" sort of space were were FINALLY ushered into by 7:58pm and only after agreeing to WALK UP SEVERAL FLIGHTS OF STAIRS to the 5th floor, but there were enough to make the room very muggy and uncomfortable.

Let me not rush through this, I want to make sure I get it all out. Once a small group of us climbed the stairs to the 5th floor we were then greeted by a mob of people standing around, facing a stage. Why? Well, because there were no seats?! A large empty space which had boxes upon boxes of books towards the back, leading me to believe the event was being held in their warehouse, and you don't even have folding chairs? This isn't their first time doing a book signing of this magnitude right? I could be wrong because it sure felt like it.

So, anyway, we are now upstairs, and we've found a somewhat decent spot to stand. I'm only 5'1" so you can imagine I could not easily see over people's heads. I did a quick practice shot with my iPhone 5 to make sure I could at least get a good picture of him once he arrived. I would like to note that by this time I have now been at this even for 45 minutes with not ONE announcement of what was going on or how this would go at all for the exception of the piece of paper I was handed above. Not only that but I could see no security nor could I identify any Strand employees even standing around attempting to ease the crowd that was noticeably getting antsy as the minutes dragged on.

It is now 8:15pm and it's safe to say he's late (or unavoidably detained) and we've had no announcement. Finally at around 8:25pm a guy gets up on stage, does not identify himself as a member of the staff or anything, but states that James Franco will be arriving momentarily and we don't have to wait any longer for the pre-signed book that we can leave now and be handed the book back downstairs in the lobby. Words cannot express how absolutely livid I have become at this point. If he wasn't going to personalize the book but simply sign his name for each of us that would have been acceptable. I've been to a majority of book signings where that was the case. But nope, he wouldn't even be signing the books in front of us. Okay, fine, whatever, I'm over it. But on top of that he couldn't even HAND the damn pre-signed books to us as we left the event?!?!?!?!

Let me take a few breaths here cause I'm FAR from done. Okay, so now he's arrived and the crowd begins inching it's way closer to the stage. Did I feel like a stampede could have broken out at any moment? Yes. Did I feel safe at all? No. This is unacceptable.

He tries to quiet down the raving female lunatics who are scattered throughout the crowd so he can commence to read us what seemed to me to be an entire chapter of his book. Was his reading worth it? Yes. But allow me to quickly go over what is NOT acceptable book signing reading etiquette:

1. I don't care WHO the person reading is, you don't interrupt with your little rants of love and devotion while he/she is reading. (I won't say the what was said specifically because the language was vulgar and HIGHLY inappropriate)

2. Hearing a story about a woman being raped while heavily intoxicated is not a good time to shout cat calls or wish that were you! What kind of woman are you to want that kind of treatment?!

3. Listening to the words being read and HOW they are being read is always the best way to go when someone is reading. I can't believe I actually have to say that when everyone there was practically an adult!?

Okay, now he's read for a good 30 minutes where what he chose to read was riddled with foul language a sailor would blush to hear and now begins the Q&A period to which my brother echoed my thoughts of "let's get the heck out of here."

The only way out was through the staircase we had earlier climbed. So we quickly went downstairs where it seemed more Strand employees were relaxing than were upstairs where they should have been, to maintain some semblence of order. We each had our wristbands cut off to symbolize we would no longer be able to go back upstairs, but believe me I will NEVER be going back upstairs! Then we were each handed a book with his signatire inside. Yippee!!!

My conclusion to this horrific time in my life where it took over an hour to get there and over an hour to get home is that I will never ever again attend any book signing event at The Strand bookstore. If I'm ever asked for my opinion on the best place to go for a book signing I will very happily recommend ANY Barnes & Noble bookstore. I have not once had such an experience before. Even with what some (my brother) would consider the worst which was when we waited in the cold for 5+ hours for President Jimmy Carter's book signing event. But at least he DID sign the book! I felt that was a better and more worth while experience. The employees cared that we were okay at Jimmy Carter's book signing. They stayed outside and braved the cold with us. They even brought out hot beverages for us, free of charge!

All I can do is be happy that it's over. We got what we paid for, not necessarily what we came for, but what's done is done. Thanks for letting me get this experience off my chest.

There was another person who was there and he gives his excellent experience of how it went as well. Click the link below to read more:

10 Reasons It Must Suck to be James Franco

or… Reasons Why the Reading at Strand Bookstore Was Horrible.