The Austere Academy
A Series of Unfortunate Events #5
A Series of Unfortunate Events #5
by Lemony Snicket
221 pages
HarperCollins, 2000
young adult
Read in 2 days
My Rating: ★★★★★
"If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn't give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would snatch it from your hands anyway."
Review: I swear these books are getting better and better as I read them. In this series of unfortunate events we find the Baudelaire children being placed in a boarding school by Mr. Poe, the constantly coughing man who works at the bank and is in charge of their finances until they come of age. Of course they are wary of Count Olaf and what disguise, if any, he or his equally evil friends will be wearing this time.
While at the school mishaps happen to them even before Count Olaf, or in this case Genghis, as he calls himself, gets there. They have to contend with a mean, nasty, and unkempt classmate by the name of Carmelita Spats who likes to call orphans of any kind 'cakesniffers,' whatever that means. They also have a vice principal who likes to mimic in a mean voice whatever he is being told and he also thinks of himself as a genius violin player. Trust me when I tell you he is definitely not a genius at anything. In this book the children are at the mercy of technology when Nero, the VP, claims they have nothing to worry about from Count Olaf since his fancy computer security system, which has been programmed with all of Count Olaf's discerning features, have been programmed into the computer. Of course there is a hint of skepticism on the part of the Baudelaire kids who find it hard to believe that a computer will keep Count Olaf or his evil friends away. Of course, they are correct.
But in this book they meet the Quagmire triplets (minus one) who befriend them and who offer to help them. Of course the Baudelaire children are ecstatic to have two new friends, and I feel a hint of romance in the air as well, but they are also cautious of anyone who takes their side. If you've read the previous books as I have you'll recall that many of their guardians and even friends have met with a deadly fate at the hands of Count Olaf. This time will be no different.
I'm propelled forward into the 6th book, The Ersatz Elevator and one step closer to the last book, more aptly titled "The End." I can't wait to find out more about these children and how through the toughest and darkest of times they always seem to escape near death, at least, until the next book that is...
While at the school mishaps happen to them even before Count Olaf, or in this case Genghis, as he calls himself, gets there. They have to contend with a mean, nasty, and unkempt classmate by the name of Carmelita Spats who likes to call orphans of any kind 'cakesniffers,' whatever that means. They also have a vice principal who likes to mimic in a mean voice whatever he is being told and he also thinks of himself as a genius violin player. Trust me when I tell you he is definitely not a genius at anything. In this book the children are at the mercy of technology when Nero, the VP, claims they have nothing to worry about from Count Olaf since his fancy computer security system, which has been programmed with all of Count Olaf's discerning features, have been programmed into the computer. Of course there is a hint of skepticism on the part of the Baudelaire kids who find it hard to believe that a computer will keep Count Olaf or his evil friends away. Of course, they are correct.
But in this book they meet the Quagmire triplets (minus one) who befriend them and who offer to help them. Of course the Baudelaire children are ecstatic to have two new friends, and I feel a hint of romance in the air as well, but they are also cautious of anyone who takes their side. If you've read the previous books as I have you'll recall that many of their guardians and even friends have met with a deadly fate at the hands of Count Olaf. This time will be no different.
I'm propelled forward into the 6th book, The Ersatz Elevator and one step closer to the last book, more aptly titled "The End." I can't wait to find out more about these children and how through the toughest and darkest of times they always seem to escape near death, at least, until the next book that is...
Summary: As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home Prufrock Preparatory School : they can′t help but notice the enormous stone arch bearing the school′s motto Memento Mori or "Remember you will die." This is not a cheerful greeting and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning to a very bleak story just as we have come to expect from Lemony Snickett′s Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously morbid set of books that began with The Bad Beginning and only got worse.
As their outrageous misfortune continues, the Baudelaire orphans are shipped off to a miserable boarding school, where they befriend the two Quagmire triplets and find that they have been followed by the dreaded Count Olaf.
As their outrageous misfortune continues, the Baudelaire orphans are shipped off to a miserable boarding school, where they befriend the two Quagmire triplets and find that they have been followed by the dreaded Count Olaf.
If you want to learn more about Lemony Snicket, visit his site here.
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